Fwooper
sung to the tune of "California Girls" by Katy Perry.
[Snoop doggish voice]
Greetings loved ones
Let's take a journey
I know a place
where the sand is really coarser
Hot, humid and wild
Cause there's nothing such as water
Sippin' gatorade
Layin' across the serengeti
The birds
Break their necks
Trying to kill us with their music
You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the grounds of Hogwarts
Once you safari with us
You'll be falling in love
Oooooh oh oooooh
[Chorus]
Ravenclaw girls
We're unforgettable
Bronze and Blue
Cleverness on top
Magical Powers
So hot
We have an Icicle
Oooooh oh oooooh
Ravenclaw girls
We're undeniable
Smart, swift, sweet
We got it down pat
Hogwarts represent
Now put your wands up
Oooooh oh oooooh
[Katy Perryish voice]
Reading every night
We can't get enough of those novels
We read
In our beds
Quidditch on our minds now (Oh oh)
You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the grounds of Hogwarts
Once you safari with us
You'll be falling in love
Oooooh oh oooooh
[Chorus]
Ravenclaw girls
We're unforgettable
Bronze and Blue
Cleverness on top
Magical Powers
So hot
We have an Icicle
Oooooh oh oooooh
Ravenclaw girls
We're undeniable
Smart, swift, sweet
We got it down pat
Hogwarts represent
Now put your wands up
Oooooh oh oooooh
[Snoop dog voice]
Bright bird is deadly
Fwooper that is you
Silencing charm on the ready
Song driving us insane
Orange, pink, lime green, and yellow
Brightly colored
Feathers, dear African bird
Run now
Quick now
Before he sings!
The bird's a freak
We might just die
here in Africa
We're okay
We won't play
I want to say
Just like I love today
Nile River
Serengeti
Safari is everything
Wizards
Hangin' out
All that fear
Hangin' out
Potions, motions, lotions
No commotion
Just a license
And it's monthly
Cmon my ladies
(Yeah)
You're runnin there baby
(Uh huh)
I'm right behind you
'Cause this fwooper's gonna kill us
(Ohhh yeahh)
Chorus]
[Chorus]
Ravenclaw girls
We're unforgettable
Bronze and Blue
Cleverness on top
Magical Powers
So hot
We have an Icicle
Oooooh oh oooooh
Ravenclaw girls
We're undeniable
Smart, swift, sweet
We got it down pat
Hogwarts represent
Now put your wands up
Oooooh oh oooooh
Snoop Dogg:
(Africanaaa, Africanaaa)
Ravenclaw girls man
I wish they all could be
Ravenclaw girls
(Africanaa)
I really wish
You all could be
Ravenclaw girls
(Ravenclawww, girls)
Erumpent
Also we will make sure the horn does not explode by make a contraption out of twigs and animal sillybands: these in particular:
Also since we have bubble wrap left over from our cosmetic packing we can use those once we get back to our tent!
Runespoor
Somewhere in East Africa:
Dreamer: OoOoOo... What is that? It looks lovely.
Critic: What are you talking about this time? Snap out of your daydream.
Planner: I see it too! Some kind of tent. There must be more tourists. Let's go explore.
Runespoor enters the tent
Critic: Gah! It is freezing in here!
Dreamer: Look at the beautiful icicle....
Critic: Let's get out of here before we freeze to death.
Planner: Calm down. It's just cold air coming from that odd-looking machine. I'm sure there is some way to... -click- aha! It's off.
Dreamer: Yes, it is very comfortable now. -rests head on shaggy mat-
Critic: I still don't like the looks of this place... Dreamer! Your head is in the mouth of a lion!
Dreamer: -looks up- So it is...
Planner: It isn't even real. It is much too small to be a real lion. Come on, there are more rooms.
Runespoor enters the bathroom
Critic: These humans couldn't try to be neater? Bottles all over the place!
Dreamer: It smells nice, like flowers! Is anything edible? I am hungry. -nibbles on biodegradable toilet paper- Not bad... disappears quickly...
Planner: Hmm, there must be more than this.
Runespoor finds stash of muffins
Dreamer: That smells delicious!
Critic: Looks horrible.
Planner: Don't take too many. They must not know we were here.
Runespoor crashes into Mara's massage table.
Dreamer: Oh look, a funny table with an attached pillow. It looks comfy!
Critic: Some pillow, it has a hole in it.
Planner: Don't touch that! We may not be able to put it back together!
Critic: Why do they have a piece of wood?
Phineas Nigellus Black: Who are you calling a piece of wood? I was once the Headmaster at Hogwarts.
Dreamer: A talking piece of wood... Amazing...
Critic: As if we know what this Hogwarts is.
Phineas Nigellus Black: Hogwarts is the best Wizarding School in the world, located in Britain.
Critic: I doubt it is the best.
Planner: Britain is far from here.
Dreamer: I've heard wonderful things about Britain.
Critic: So how did you get here?
Phineas Nigellus Black: You are as bad as students with all your questions.
Critic: How dare you! -bites frame of painting-
Dreamer and Planner poke around, while Critic is stuck to the painting of Phineas Nigellus Black
Planner: I wonder what this thing does. It looks like a toy. -prods dalek-
Dreamer: You made it glow... It is so shiny...
Planner: Don't touch.... -Dreamer prods portkey- ...it...
Runespoor suddenly feels like it is hooked by the belly and moves very quickly through space
