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Second Place: Jolly Green Wizards
There is a legend about a mystic artifact. A legend filled with facts and truth, majesty and amazement; and it all starts in the old Ancient Greece, many years ago.
When the sixth child of Chronos, named Zeus, was born, his mother, Rhea, with the help of Hephaestus (the God of fire and smiths) made him an amulet to protect him from his father. His father was considered by many to be a wicked and fearful man who wanted to keep his throne as the "King God" for all eternity. After a while, Zeus became so strong and powerful, that, with the help of his brothers, sisters, and some underworld creatures, he was able to defeat his father. He then sieged the throne that was rightfully his. Zeus strongly believed that the amulet helped him through this, and that it gave him the feeling that his mother was always near him. This way, it was only fitting that when he became the ruling God, he "filled" the amulet with his power - thunder.
Zeus went on to continue his life, having very many children with very many different wives. Soon, he finally found his favorite son, Heracules (who was a demi-god, because he was a product from Zeus and a mortal, Alcmene). He loved Hercules so, and wanted more than anything for him to be take position with the Gods very soon. But unfortunately, his very jealous wife, Hera, gave the boy twelve labors to fulfill for proving his powers and making him worthy for the world of the Gods. When he finished the twelve labors, Hera had to accept him in their world, and his father gave him the Boldzar as an award. Heracles did not wear the necklace often, though, so he gave honor to his father by hiding it somewhere in the temple of Zeus at Olympia around 400 B.C., to be honored by all those who passed.
It sat there, untouched for more than half a century until Alexander The Great, while conquering the remaining parts of Greece that his father had not already, he found it and took it with him. But after his death it was hidden in some catacombs under Macedonia. By the saying of the older people that was because it's assumed that the Boldzar killed Alexander when he tried to use its powers. After a very long time, somewhere before the First World War it was said to be moved to Luxembourg, to the castle of the Order of the Sword, whose knights were said to be vampires. But in the Second World War, it's reported that the Boldzar was taken by some Nazi soldiers, whose were in the group that bombarded Greece soon after, and since their plane was shot down, the Boldzar ended up in Greece again. Some time after, a monk find it and took it to his monastery which was located at the shores of the Mediterranean Sea. But at the turn of this century, a wave from the Sea struck as a curse or God's wrath and took down the whole monastery with the Boldzar.
On an expedition in the 2004th year, a group of wizards from the Magic Leaf Bugs Inc. found it, and since then the Boldzar is situated in their institution in Greece, while they are doing some researches and experiments on it. So far it's known that the bolt shape and it's chain are made from silver, and the shiny blue shape that is connecting them is probably sapphire. Also the Boldzar can be wore by all people, both muggles and wizards(or witches), but it's powers, controlling and summoning thunder, can only be used by a really powerful person, or maybe only Gods. The Green Leaf Bugs Inc. are still working on that case. After all the researches and experiments are done, the Boldzar will be put on auction, and the money raised will go to their "Save The World Fund". Zeus and Hercules would be very proud to see what the ancient gift is doing for the world today.
Judges' Comments
Again, I am a little disappointed that groups depended greatly on the Gods for this assignment. True, they are a huge part of the world's history...but not the only part. I just felt your history depended way too much on history I actually would learn in school, not necessarily a story you guys created.
However, I really enjoyed how you guys ended your article. You incorporated your group into the history of the artifact and especially into a charitable organization. I also liked how you kept the powers as a possibility of only being able to work for the Gods...I think it helps keep everything more realistic. 6/10
Good story, but I feel that you delved so much into the history that you almost forgot telling us about the artefact today. I would have liked to see more about how your institute has managed to recover the artefact and if there were any protections or enchantments that you had to pass through. There were also no explanations about past attempts of others to find it and I'm not sure if auctioning it is the best idea? I know it gives the fund a lot of money but I feel that such an important artefact would be better off in a museum somewhere where no one can abuse its power. Pay attention to inconsistencies also (you mentioned Heracules first, then Hercules, then Heracles, people who don't know mythology will be confused and think they're different people) and the flowing of your writing style as a whole next time. 7/10
You did a wonderful job setting up the story, and I really enjoyed how you tied yourself in at the end. My only complaint is that you relied heavily on already established myth. 8/10
Lovely history of the artefact. It's interesting to know what happened in the past. I would however, as various other leaders too, preferred to have a bit more on the current times too. 8/10
-Oooh well I really like the way you've done this. At first I thought the lack of an image might have taken away from the submission but after reading it I was proven wrong. I love how you've writen the tale like a legend at first, and then towards the end it turns into a historical document almost. I thought the story was fascinating and really like how you connected it to Greek mythology. 9/10
Overall Score: 7.6 |
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Third Place: El Brujos
Our Artifact is: The Crown of Atlantis
HISTORY: The Crown of Atlantis was created by Poseidon who was the ruler of the Lost City of Atlantis. Atlantis was created some 11,000 years ago by Poseidon himself. Atlantis was located in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and was completely cut off from resources from other land. Civilians flocked to Atlantis when it was told how much they could gain from it. The resources were unbelievable and the profits you could make from crops was almost too good to be true. Poseidon ran the city successfully for years. Far above them, Zeus was starting to get jealous of all of the respect Poseidon was getting for making a simple island. So, he started sending down lightning bolts and setting earthquakes on areas near Atlantis, causing tsunamis. Poseidon saw the signs and the crown was developed. The crown would sink to the depths of the sea with the rest of them, but if anyone found the crown, the location of Atlantis would be revealed. The crown sank directly to the bottom of the sea, and Atlantis drifted far from its original coordinates. Other wizards living on far-off lands had heard tell of the crown and have gone searching for it. One man was said to have found it. The coordinates were obviously wrong and when he found that there was nothing on the whispered location, he died of sorrow. People still look for the crown today. Some have been successful, but have died looking for the underwater city, others have never found it at all. But we have, and we fully intend to use it to find the City of Atlantis once and for all.
APPEARANCE: The Crown of Atlantis is carved out of the finest gold of the time of Atlantis (approximately 11,000 years ago). This gold is known to be five times more dazzling and pure than the gold that is available today. The gold is carved into the shape of a rope with detailed texture. This golden rope is curved into a circle so that is can sit on top of the owner’s head. Two seashells are welded to the gold. These shells cover the wearer’s ears. Blue jewels cut into the shape of dolphins are placed on the front of the crown. There are two of them and they appear to be kissing. People believe this could have to do with Poseidon’s love for the city.
POWERS: Once you have found the crown, you are able to hear the previous location of Atlantis whispered to you from the seashells. Any Muggle that might have come across the crown would just hear the gentle flow of the ocean from inside the shells. The crown is also said to give you some of the powers that Poseidon himself possessed. This has not yet been proven.
Judges' Comments
First of all, kudos to the hand drawn picture! However, I was kinda of disappointed with the creativity of this round, especially after last round blew me away! I was kind of hoping for a story sans gods, more or less. I do like how this is especially a wizarding world artifact; that muggles could find it but not really use it. And I do like how there is a bit of mystery behind it- can you get Poseidon's powers? We shall hope to see! 7/10
Very nice drawing you have there, and quite an interesting story. Wish you could've add some more details though, since it seems more like a general description to me and could use some creative additions that would make it even more interesting. For example, past attempts of people who might have came across it and met their demise, or other compelling information that would be relevant. Overall you did a pretty good job though! 8/10
The story is ok, but what I really like is the artifact itself. It's got some great properties, and someone did a great job drawing it. I love your group's image. 8/10
I think it's great, how you made a picture of your artefact youselves. It's lovely. I would, however, have liked a bit more detail on the artefact itself. 8/10
Well I love the description of the artifact, it was very creative and very well done. I also like the drawing of it, and it was a good idea. The history of it I found a bit too historical, it was a nice idea, but I felt like I was reading from a text book, and the sentences were all rather short. I do like the idea of the powers though ^_^ 6/10
Overall Score: 7.2 |
